Onwards And Downwards

Earth Yanked, Advertisers Pull Support

Posted by in Believabull

After four months of lackluster ratings in the year 2002, the world ended when all of its corporate support pulled their sponsorships. Citing less-than-stellar revenue from the blue planet in the first quarter, NIKE, COCA-COLA, LEVI’S, MCDONALD’S, BURGER KING, WAL – MART, AOL, NEWS CORP., MICROSOFT, and VIACOM pulled the plug on the limping planet, ending 423 million years of dwindling productivity. Before being hurled into the vacuum of space, Coca-Cola chairman Douglas Daft reported that “There just comes a time when you have to cut your losses. Clearly, the…read more

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BlunderBoy: “Origins” Pt. 2

Posted by in BlunderBoy

Clang! When last we left our shivering hero, MumbleBoy was making his way around the exterior of theater to get into position for his grand finale as Deus Ex Machina in the play “ThreePenny Opera”. We join him at the front entrance to the lobby… MumbleBoy tries to pull on sporty shoe bucket. Can’t get foot far enough into now wet tight cowboy boot. Clang of bucket on concrete as foot shoving continues. Grunting. Much shaking and struggling later, and MumbleBoy finally squirms into boots despite protesting crowded toes. Super…read more

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BlunderBoy: “Origins″ Pt. 1

Posted by in BlunderBoy, Featured

Flashback! The continuing adventures of BumbleTeen finds our sneezy hero blasted into a time warp back to the moments leading up to the fateful day of his very own creation. Not so long ago, BumbleTeen and alter ego BlunderBoy used to be one shorter and slower being known as MumbleBoy, adequately functioning in the formative teen years. Yet, like so few superheroes, fate chose freshman year in high school to unleash its dark day on MumbleBoy. Short! Slow! Skinny! No sport would have MumbleBoy on the team. Too short for…read more

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BlunderBoy: “The Magic CD” Pt. 2

Posted by in BlunderBoy

Rip! When last we left hapless hero BumbleTeen, he was in the midst of viewing the unveiling of the mystery CD. We join him above his desk… The whirlwind of fluttering paper shards continue to cloud the desk, falling from the merciless hands of BossGloom. His face brightens devilishly as “Pull My Finger” CD revealed. Said CD a massive all-encompasing compilation of farting sound effects. Fifty-eight tracks of fabulous flatulence. CD in hand, BossGloom bounds away into office, instantly returning with titanium laptop and “Pull My Finger” already loaded and…read more

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BlunderBoy: “The Magic CD” Pt. 1

Posted by in BlunderBoy

Smash! In the midst of flailing around for a stray paperclip, BumbleTeen’s alter-ego BlunderBoy slam-bangs his head on underside of desk, startled by a bark from Archenemy President of Presidents. Reeling, but protected from permanent bonk damage by his spongy super coif, BlunderBoy stands, coming face to face with his dastardly foe. “Where’s BossGloom?” President of Presidents challenges. “Uh…” Residual vibrations from earlier head bang make their way towards BumbleTeen’s nose, gripping him with urgent need to sneeze. Desperately trying to stifle urge, BumbleTeen’s eyes water over as he struggles…read more

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BlunderBoy: “Popcorn Shrimp” Pt. 2

Posted by in BlunderBoy

Fwaff! When last we left our not so duper hero, BumbleTeen was working with alter-ego BlunderBoy to retrieve BossDoom’s buttered popcorn from breakroom Sanyo Brand microwave. We join him in progress… BlunderBoy stumbles over the threshold into the breakroom area only to find whisps of smoke emanating from oversized faux brown Sanyo Brand “Super Show-Wave” Microwave Model #EM62052 with recessed glass turntable. Almost overwhelmed by burntness smell, BlunderBoy forces himself to move in, covering his nose with his shirt, pressing the large OpenDoor button, releasing a larger plume of burnt…read more

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BlunderBoy: “Popcorn Shrimp” Pt. 1

Posted by in BlunderBoy

Ding! The continuing adventures of BumbleTeen finds our nearsighted hero having an aromatic Thursday. Long day of back to back to back meetings has BossDoom and BossGloom anxious and fidgety. BumbleTeen shuttles plenty of Costa Rican blend coffee and Diet PepsiCokes to bosses to ward off ranting afternoon moodswings as best he can. Yet efforts always end up insufficient in end. Fielding call, BlunderBoy distracted and unable to ascertain BossGloom’s antics, watching helplessly as he jets out of office and return shortly from whereabouts unknown. Soon thereafter, the accosting smell…read more

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BlunderBoy: “S.A.D.” Pt. 2

Posted by in BlunderBoy

Sad! When last we left our hapless hero BumbleTeen, he was on a Singles Awareness Day date with V-GIRL deep in the valley land of La Canada. With a squiggle over the ‘n’… Pretending to feign interest in stunningly numbingly boring conversation, alter-ego Boy Blunder does his best to gum the soda straw and nod at the same time. Tattoos are high on V-GIRL’s priority list. Possibly a clover or butterfly on ankle. Her real dad has a tattoo that is a constant reminder of V-GIRL, and there is a…read more

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